What if, and now work with me people , work with me, we get a load of bands to come and play, say on a nice big stage, outside .What a fantastic thought eh? And then make sure maybe that you position the stage next to a pub or some food outlets, yeah now we're talking, and so the band play and people come and the local pub makes a good days takings and everyone is happy.
What- pay the band and the stage crew, well no, who is going to pay them, they just do it because they love it surely ?? I mean its an honour for them ;to buy diesel, drive to said ( fictitious ) site, work a 14 hour day bringing all their expensive equipment with them, then pack down and go home.
Sorry? did you say they could maybe have a rider? Well no- then the pub/food outlet would not make so much profit, and after all they have to provide food and drink for themselves every other day so why would this day be any different? Yeah and then there would be a knock-on trade for the chip shops and the souvenir shops and people would come from far and wide to hear the music, and once they got here they would need to spend a bit of money and hey presto - everybody wins.
Yeah but there's only one flaw- which bands in their right mind would come and do all that for absolutely nothing ??????
Yes you're right.... silly idea... don't know why i even mentioned it.
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i have definitely missed my vocation as an ad writer. i entered my cat in a whiskas competition, where you had to send a photo of your moggy post whiskas , and add a witty strapline which would be used in an advertising campaign. So i took a photo of a semi-recumbant Mr Pom Pom on the decking in the sun , and under it composed the following ; ahem;
'When you are entertaining the ladies, don't give them second best.. offer them Whiskas... guaranteed to get you pussy, aye '
Now I thought that was worth a years worth of whiskas but obviously not as some dull as ditchwater tabby won it with something as entertaining as ' pebbles eats up every bite' yeah right very original.
But i have probably found the ad firm who would appreciate my talents. The latest ad for the latest ladyshaver from a well known razor firm. Picture the scenes here- a lady walks past various pieces of topiary, and as the sways by they each become neatly clipped- get it........ a bush trimmer, ...BUSH TRIMMER!!!!! I nearly [...]
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You wouldn't need to do a costume change, just press a button. If you sat on a commode you wouldn't need a shit break either, oh how seamless and fantastic that would be. Mind you I'm sure that happens already, I don't mean the shit break, just the cyber singers. if Cheryl Cole wasn't so relentlessly behind the beat ( quantise darling surely??) I would swear she was a robot or virtual e-thing
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making wobbly blobbly jelly in little party plastic glasses for lucky little vodka drinking people in a party. blobbily wobbily
can anybody hear me aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I sent this from the katdog site Am I there yet??